Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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