No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
