Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My balls are so social today.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
