yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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