I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize