She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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