maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
