im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
