it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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