sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize