I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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