what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
