Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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