but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
