Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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