the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
