Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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