In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
