with your own penis?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
