I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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