that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
