.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
