We need to rekindle our bromance
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
