sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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