she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
