The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
