More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize