epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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