Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
