guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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