I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
