Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize