I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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