So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
