he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
