im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
