I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
