mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I've blown a few things in my day
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
