no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize