I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
