fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
