You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
