I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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