Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
