i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Did I show you my penis last night?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
