"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
