You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
