Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
