i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You smell like stripper and shame
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
