just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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