i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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