jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize