his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
someone owes me an orgasm
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
