watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize