Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you would pick up someone in the library
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
