What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize