Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
