How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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