People in love make me want to vomit
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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