I need help removing her.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
