yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
