Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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